Thursday, November 19, 2009

Conan O'Brien: The Lost Episode


"Thank you for having me back on the show, Conan. I appreciate this chance to clarify those remarks I made last night about the interior temperature of the Earth."

"That would be how the interior of the Earth is extremely hot, right? Several million degrees, in fact."

"That's right, Conan. You see, since last night, many anti-science right-wing zealots have latched onto this remark as a way to claim, again, that my scientific presentations are riddled with factual inaccuracies."

"Ha!"

"Ha!"

"HA! So the interior temperature of the Earth really is several million degrees."

"Well... no... Technically, it's a lot less."

"Really? How much less?"

"Well, Conan, the current scientific consensus is that it's only somewhere between 3,000 and 9,000 degrees Celsius. And as you know, good science is all about the consensus."

"So you were wrong."

"I was imprecise, Conan. What I meant to say is that the interior temperature of the Earth feels like it's several million degrees. Kind of a reverse geological wind chill factor. And all those pressures deep inside the Earth kick up some mighty strong winds, which fortunately for us can also be used as alternative sources of clean, carbon-free energy."

"So your science was right. Take that, Sarah Palin!"

"Well said, Conan. Well said."