Thursday, December 10, 2009

Harry and Nancy Talk Speech-ifying Strategy


"If you want to get health reform through the Senate, Harry, you need to get out on that floor and give a rousing speech that really knocks those Republicans back on their heels."

"The problem with passing this bill is actually my fellow Democrats, Nancy."

"Focus, Harry. First, you need to compare Republicans who are against our health reform proposals to people who support slavery."

"But weren't the Republicans the ones who freed the slaves?"

"Focus, Harry. Next, you need to compare Republicans who are against our health reform proposals to people who don't want women to have the right to vote."

"Women's suffrage? Isn't that a bit --"

"Focus, Harry. Then, you need to compare Republicans who are against our health reform proposals to people who opposed the Civil Rights Act of 1964."

"Senator Byrd is not going to like that one."

"Whatever. Now personally, I'd finish off with a pro-Holocaust/Nazi-sympathizer comparison, but that's just me."

"How about I propose opening up Medicare to another 20 or 30 million people instead, while simultaneously cutting $500 billion or so in Medicare funding?"

"Well, I suppose you could go that route, Harry, or you could listen to the woman who actually passed a health reform bill through her house of Congress. Now, let's talk cap-and-trade..."