Tuesday, December 22, 2009

President Obama's Twelve Days of Christmas: Day Ten


"Ho! Ho! Oh, let's just get this over with."

"Don't give up on me yet, Santa. I have a really good request this time."

"All right. What do you want for Christmas, young man?"

"Well, Santa, the estimated GDP growth for the third quarter just got revised downward for the second time. Can you believe that? Instead of the original nifty 3.5% growth rate taking us into a shiny new recovery, now we only have a 2.2% growth rate, and most of that came from my awesome Cash-for-Clunkers program. So, I was thinking, maybe you could give all the hard-working Americans a really crappy, fuel-inefficient, pollution-inducing car, which I could then buy up through an expanded Cash-for-Clunkers program to prop up those GDP numbers. Everybody wins!"

"Ho! Ho! Ho! And I suppose you want me to pay for this expanded program, too, right?"

"Actually, I thought we'd use that unspent TARP money for this instead of reducing the deficit... Hey, Santa, where are you going?... Hey, Santa!... You Secret Service guys, don't let him out!"