Monday, August 16, 2010

Another "Gift" from Nancy Pelosi

"Gather round, children. It's time for yet another gift from me, Grandma Pelosi, to you, the children of America."

"Yea for Grandma Pelosi!"

"Tell me, children. Would you like another $8 billion for child nutrition?"


"Yea, indeed! Now—"

"Grandma Pelosi? My daddy says—"

"Yes, Lizzie, I know. Your silly daddy wants to know how we're ever going to pay for all this. Well, you just tell him there's still plenty of food stamp money that we can cut again and use for this wonderful gift instead."

"Grandma Pelosi? My daddy says this $8 billion in food stamps wasn't even going to be spent until 2014, but you're counting that against spending now. He says that's like saying I'll quit drinking next year."

"My goodness!"

"He says this is smoke-and-mirrors accounting, and the American people are too smart to fall for this crap any longer."

"Oh, Lizzie, poor Lizzie, your daddy is what we call a teabagger."

"My other daddy says that's a consciously ignorant and adolescent misuse of the term and should be beneath a party that prides itself on standing up for inclusiveness regardless of a person's sexual proclivities."

"You have two daddies? They don't live in my district, do they?"

"No. We live in—"

"Oh, thank goodness! Lizzie actually had Grandma Pelosi scared there for a minute, children!"