Wednesday, September 8, 2010

CNN Hires Woody Allen and Mariel Hemingway

An "exclusive first peek" at Parker Spitzer, or Spitzer Parker, or whatever they end up calling CNN's latest attempt to halt its ratings freefall:

Am I the only one who kept thinking this was actually the promo for a Woody Allen movie?

Okay, maybe that's not entirely fair. Eliot Spitzer isn't quite as nebbish as Woody Allen. Plus, Eliot resigned as Governor of New York because he got caught on a federal wiretap hiring expensive prostitutes of legal age, not because he was dating a 17-year-old girl before falling in love with his friend's mistress, like Woody did in Manhattan.

And whereas Mariel Hemingway just writes "books about my life, yoga, nutrition and well-being," Kathleen is a conservative columnist for the Washington Post who highlights the "danger" of conservative rhetoric involving words like reload and targeting, then likens anonymous posts she disagrees with on the Internet to "terrorism," because "you don't know who to go after." You know, like how we still don't know who flew those planes on 9/11. Could Mariel come up with an insight like that? I don't think so. And I'm sure Kathleen Parker will bring the same level of analysis to Parker Spitzer, or Spitzer Parker, or whatever they end up calling it, that she brought to Glenn Beck's recent "Restoring Honor" rally at the Lincoln Memorial: "Conspiracy theories and paranoia are not unfamiliar to those who have wrestled the demon alcohol." Now that's analysis I want to see on a 42" flat screen!

Still not convinced? Then maybe this second "exclusive sneak peek" of their first panel discussion will change your mind:

Spitzer Parker, or Parker Spitzer, or some show with Kathleen Parker and Eliot Spitzer, coming this October on CNN!

(H/T: Memeorandum)