Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Best Obama Sound Bites of the Second Presidential Debate

1)         “My plan is that instead of unpatriotically borrowing money to spend on two wars, we instead invest that money here at home. Now, Governor Romney will tell you that money’s already been spent, that we’d just have to borrow even more money, adding to the federal deficit, in order to pay for my proposals. But if it’s one thing the Obamacare experience with Medicare has shown, it’s that we really can spend the same dollar twice.”

2)         “See how I’m sitting here? This is how I sat when I slow-jammed the news with Jimmy Fallon. Can you picture Governor Romney slow-jamming the news with Jimmy Fallon? I didn’t think so.”

3)         “Seriously, if Governor Romney says ‘Great question, important question’ one more time, I think my head is going to explode.”

4)         “Now, Governor Romney is right. A gallon of gas cost about $1.86 when I took office, but that was because George Bush had wrecked the economy. The fact that gas costs more than $4.00 a gallon today is proof of how much better the economy is now, and how my policies are helping the average American.”

5)         “I can’t believe I lost the gender gap to a guy who looks like an undertaker.”

6)         “Candy, Governor Romney is talking again. Are you going to interrupt him this time, or am I?”

7)         “Governor Romney, only Candy gets to interrupt me.”

8)         “Candy, stop interrupting me!”

9)         “I find it offensive that Governor Romney, who is responsible for the death of a steelworker’s wife from cancer after shutting down his company and stealing her health insurance to stuff his own pockets, could even suggest that my team would play politics with someone’s death. That's not what we do.”

10)       “Candy, I’d love to talk at length about Libya, but do you think you could have my back again and move on to a question about gun control, say, before someone actually does check the transcript about that whole ‘act of terror’ thing I just claimed I said, and realizes how misleading I just was?”