Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Every Tree Is Number 27
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Exclusive Video: The Fourth Presidential Debate
Posted by Wesley M. at 7:52 AM Links to this post
Labels: general snarkiness, politics, television, zombies
Monday, October 29, 2012
A Married Conversation About Halloween Decorations and Mitt Romney
Posted by Wesley M. at 8:31 AM Links to this post
Labels: general snarkiness, I love my wife, married conversation, politics, television
Sunday, October 28, 2012
"Americans," with Sean Penn and Kid Rock
Posted by Wesley M. at 9:12 AM Links to this post
Labels: free speech, Kid Rock, politics, Sean Penn
Saturday, October 27, 2012
I Remember When They Promised Me the Future
I remember when they promised me the future, and told me how one day I could just grab an item at the supermarket, swipe my card, and be quickly on my way. They never mentioned how I would have to choose options from six different touch-screen menus (including if I wanted to donate to the charity of the week), and then answer three more questions from the cashier (including if I wanted to donate to the same charity of the week). The elderly ladies who pay cash using exact change get through the checkout line faster.
Friday, October 26, 2012
My Own First Time
I remember my first time. It was with Walter Mondale, but I was thinking of Geraldine Ferraro.
He said outright that he would raise my taxes, but he was my first, so I knew that I could change him. Besides, that other guy who was also into me was just really old, like a thousand and fifty in college-age time, so it would have been super uncool to be out and about with him instead of Walter.
Still, my first time was amazing. It was this line in the dorm room. Before I opened that absentee ballot, I was a boy, but then I was a 19-year-old college Democrat. I picked up that pen I'd been chewing on all semester, and I filled in that little circle, and I voted for Walter Mondale. Then I gave my roommate a goofy smile and asked him to put his headphones on, because his happy, bubbly music was getting a bit much.
Walter and I didn't last, of course, just like my parents warned. And I did get over him. Eventually. We still keep up on Facebook, though, which is super cool.
And I still think of Geraldine Ferraro.
UPDATE: Because the Founding Fathers are like super mainstream...
Posted by Wesley M. at 8:36 AM Links to this post
Labels: crap-tacular, general snarkiness, Obama, politics
Thursday, October 25, 2012
"I Have Always Dreamed of Being a Cat"
Posted by Wesley M. at 10:33 AM Links to this post
Labels: dogs, general snarkiness, my town, photos
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Top Scientist: Universe Actually Just a "Really Crappy" MMORPG
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
David Lo Pan Style
As Jack Burton would say in one of the greatest movies of all-time, it's all in the reflexes...
Monday, October 22, 2012
Best Obama Sound Bites of the Third Presidential Debate
1) “Ronald Reagan bombed Qaddafi, too. But I got rid of Qaddafi while leading from behind French and British bombs.”
Posted by Wesley M. at 8:17 PM Links to this post
Labels: crap-tacular, general snarkiness, Obama, politics, Romney
A Preview of the Third Presidential Debate
Posted by Wesley M. at 8:01 AM Links to this post
Labels: general snarkiness, Obama, politics, Romney
Sunday, October 21, 2012
544 Days
Posted by Wesley M. at 8:51 AM Links to this post
Friday, October 19, 2012
One of the Coolest, Saddest Things You Will Ever See
I wasn't even a teenager yet when NASA rolled out the first space shuttle, Enterprise, in 1976. So for almost my entire life, the one true constant has been the shuttles, none of which will ever fly again.
This is amazingly cool to watch, but also rather sad, at least for me. It's the end of the era, in several ways.
Here's hoping what comes next is even better...
Thursday, October 18, 2012
10 Other Things President Obama Might Deem "Not Optimal"
1) The number of Americans currently out of work.
2) The size of the national debt.
3) The size of the yearly federal deficit.
4) His current poll numbers.
5) The success of sanctions against
6) His administration's progress in closing Guantanamo.
7) The shovel readiness of those shovel-ready jobs.
8) The success of the reset in relations with
9) The success of Big Bird as a wedge issue.
10) The success of attempts to claim his now-famous-before-it-even-airs statement that “If four Americans get killed, it's not optimal” was taken out of context, just like all the others...
UPDATE: The video:
Posted by Wesley M. at 5:56 PM Links to this post
Labels: crap-tacular, general snarkiness, Jon Stewart, Obama, politics
A Married Conversation about Newsweek
“Look. Newsweek is
going to stop having a print edition and go all-digital at the end of the year.”
“Good. Now I finally won’t have to listen to you complain about
it whenever we're standing in the supermarket check-out line.”
Posted by Wesley M. at 4:40 PM Links to this post
Labels: crap-tacular, general snarkiness, I love my wife, married conversation
Obama's Second Debate Performance Secret Revealed
Posted by Wesley M. at 7:59 AM Links to this post
Labels: general snarkiness, Obama, politics, Romney
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Overheard at Vons
“I’m gonna say, I’m gonna say, I’m gonna say, I’m gonna say, I’m gonna say, I’m gonna say, I’m gonna say, I’m gonna say, I’m gonna say, I’m gonna say, I’m gonna say, I’m gonna say, I’m gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, Mommy’s not helpful, that’s what I’m gonna say!”
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Best Obama Sound Bites of the Second Presidential Debate
Posted by Wesley M. at 9:10 PM Links to this post
Labels: crap-tacular, general snarkiness, Obama, politics, Romney
Monday, October 15, 2012
Breaking: CNN's Candy Crowley Replaced as 2nd Presidential Debate Moderator
Posted by Wesley M. at 9:25 AM Links to this post
Labels: Andy Cohen, fake news, general snarkiness, Obama, politics, Romney, television
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Hillary and Barack Talk Benghazi
Posted by Wesley M. at 1:26 PM Links to this post
Labels: crap-tacular, general snarkiness, Hillary Clinton, Obama, politics
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Have We Really Come to This?
I spotted this sign on a big bouncy castle yesterday afternoon. Note the "fine print" at the bottom.
Posted by Wesley M. at 8:27 AM Links to this post
Labels: crap-tacular, general snarkiness, my town, photos
Friday, October 12, 2012
Best Biden Sound Bites of the Vice-Presidential Debate
UPDATES:
11) “Paul! Buddy! I was plagiarizing that same line before you were even born!”
12) “I think I probably have a much higher IQ than you do, Martha.”
13) “Have I been an effective Vice President? I unwittingly forced the President of the United States to publicly change his position on gay marriage. Imagine what positions I can make him change in a second term!”
14) “Squirrel!”
Posted by Wesley M. at 10:02 AM Links to this post
Labels: crap-tacular, general snarkiness, Joe Biden, politics
"I Hate My Frickin' ISP"
Because Todd Rundgren is awesome, and my Time Warner Cable High-Speed Internet has "dirty signal"...
Thursday, October 11, 2012
The Rules Are Different for Joe Biden
Nine quick thoughts on
tonight’s vice-presidential debate:
1. Joe Biden
interrupted Paul Ryan and the moderator so many times, I even shut up when he looked right into the camera at me and the
rest of
2. All those Facebook posts were right. That thing
going on with Paul Ryan’s hair did make me think of Eddie Munster.
3. During the
next presidential debate, I’m now going to have an image of Grandpa Al Lewis in my head
when Mitt Romney and those gray wings in his hair take the stage.
4. Joe Biden
would have been a great “wacky neighbor” on The Munsters.
5. That massive
water glass Paul Ryan kept drinking from looked like it should have been filled
with beer.
6. Joe Biden’s water
glass probably was filled with beer.
7. The
moderator was less biased than Big Bird.
8. Did Joe
Biden really lean toward the moderator at one point and wave his pen in her
face? If Paul Ryan had done that, a new “War on Women” ad would have been on
the air before midnight.
9. The rules
are different for Joe Biden. Always have been. Always will be.
Posted by Wesley M. at 9:02 PM Links to this post
Labels: general snarkiness, Joe Biden, Paul Ryan, politics, television
Carney: Benghazi Consulate Attacked Under Cover of "Virtual" Protest
Posted by Wesley M. at 9:04 AM Links to this post
Labels: crap-tacular, fake news, Jay Carney, media, Obama, politics
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Best. Bad Lip Reading Video. Ever.
(H/T: Jonah Goldberg)
Posted by Wesley M. at 3:07 PM Links to this post
Labels: general snarkiness, Obama, politics, Romney, television
EXCLUSIVE: Leaked Memo Details PBS Programming in Development for a Romney Administration
Posted by Wesley M. at 8:01 AM Links to this post
Labels: fake news, general snarkiness, Obama, PBS, politics, Romney, television
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
A Married Conversation While Playing Left 4 Dead
"What are you doing?! Get back in the helicopter!"
"But Francis and Bill need help!"
"Leave 'em! They're just NPCs!"
Posted by Wesley M. at 6:18 PM Links to this post
Labels: gaming, general snarkiness, I love my wife, married conversation
Monday, October 8, 2012
REUTERS: Surrounded by Hollywood Stars, Obama Blames Poor Denver Debate Performance on Screenwriter
“When a film -- or a presidential debate,” he added to laughter and applause from the crowd, “doesn’t turn out right, it’s not the actor’s fault! It’s not the director’s fault! It’s not the producer’s -- or even the candidate’s -- fault! It’s the screenwriter’s fault! Hollywood, you all know what I’m talkin’ about, right?!”
The roughly 6,000 regular American movie stars, music legends, jet-setting celebrities, entertainment moguls, and highly paid escorts at the Nokia Theater clearly did. Noted auteur Steven Soderbergh even directed legendary lovebirds Barbara Streisand and James Brolin in an impromptu reenactment of the famous "two in the back, one in the stomach" murdered screenwriter scene from Sunset Blvd., prompting serious if early Oscar buzz.
Outside the event, however, Obama’s comments were not without controversy.
“All these overpaid and overrated clowns do is hand down notes that stifle creativity and innovative storytelling,” ranted someone completely unimportant who claimed to be president of a little-known fringe group known as the Writers Guild of America, West. “Have the characters meet cute, start Act Two on page 17, make it just like that other film that did well. It never ends. And now they want to blame that Gigli in
“He’s just mad he didn’t get a drive-on for this event,” countered Gigli star J-“I’m Still Jenny From The Block”-Lo, to which actor Samuel L. Jackson added, “I am tired of these m*therf*ckin’ screenwriters in this m*therf*ckin’ city! Wake the f*ck up and vote for Obama!”
Outside observers also praised Obama’s choice of scapegoat. “All successful campaigns make use of the local culture,” said Larry Sabato, director of the Center for Politics and Robert Kent Gooch Professor of Politics at the
Perhaps inspired by
“I had a purple lightsaber!”
Later in the evening, Obama attended a second fundraising dinner at WP24 by Wolfgang Puck for 150 guests at a cost of $25,000 per person, where he accused Mitt Romney of being an “unfeeling wealthbot” incapable of understanding “the struggles of hard-working Americans facing $12 movie tickets and $7 popcorn.”
Andy Serkis, who will be digitally replaced by an image of Mitt Romney during postproduction, could not be reached for comment.
Posted by Wesley M. at 9:43 PM Links to this post
Labels: crap-tacular, fake news, general snarkiness, Hollywood, Obama, politics
30 Minute Parking
Sunday, October 7, 2012
That's y I'm Votin' Snoop Dogg Lion!
1. Ain’t no Wall Street crackaz go’n give him no lip. M*thaf*cka did time, dog!
2. M*thaf*cka know all the pimps in the crib, so no child lef’ behind.
3. M*thaf*cka down with the bitches and hoes, so he unnerstandz the war on women.
4. Presidential portrait featurin’ a 40 and a blunt.
5. M*thaf*cka dropped “Drop It Like It’s Hot,” so he feelin’ the danger of global warming.
6. M*thaf*cka ain’t got no John Edwards hair, son!
7. Beyonce do all that Condi did but with more swag.
8. Ain’t no UN m*thaf*ckas go’n veto our asses when he in charge. M*thaf*cka did time, dog!
9. M*thaf*cka once had his own porn company, so he got the lowdown on what small business need.
10. M*thaf*cka's name is Snoop, so ain't no intel go'n be missed!
(See the original NSFW list of 10 reasons to vote for Obama and 10 reasons to vote against Romney -- made famous by Snoop
Exclusive Video: Unseen Denver Presidential Debate Footage, with Post-Debate Presidential Commentary
Posted by Wesley M. at 8:32 AM Links to this post
Labels: crap-tacular, general snarkiness, Obama, politics, television
Saturday, October 6, 2012
A Phone Conversation About Prop 32
Friday, October 5, 2012
After the Denver Debate
Posted by Wesley M. at 12:26 PM Links to this post
Labels: crap-tacular, general snarkiness, Obama, politics, Romney, television