Friday, May 24, 2013

Exclusive Video: White House Press Secretary Jay Carney Faces the Scandal-Invigorated White House Press Corps

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Joy of Indie Publishing #261

Amazon just recommended my own book to me. Unfortunately, I already know how that one ends.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

"The Matrix Retold By Mom"

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

The Sound of Obama: "Spinnin' In The Rain"


[Spoken]

BARACK:
Goodnight, Michelle. See you tomorrow.

MICHELLE:
Goodnight, Barack. Take care of that throat. You have a lot of questions to answer now, remember? This rain of Washington scandals is a little heavier than usual.

BARACK:
Really? From where I stand the sun is shining all over the place.

[Singing]

BARACK:
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo...

Just spinnin' in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
Like campaignin' again
Those scandalous clouds
So dark all around
Jay Carney's in flames
But I'm spinnin' in the rain

Let Eric Holder chase
Reporters from the place
Come on with your rain
The IRS will give you some pain
Like I've done all these years
Just as Tea Party feared
I'm spinnin'
I'm spinnin'
In the rain

With talking points in place
'Cause the truth is my disgrace
Issa's in my face
And I'm happy again
Benghazi burned to the ground
With a U.S. ambassador down
Good luck gettin' the truth
'Cause I'm spinnin' in the rain

Your e-mails are all mine
Just lke your cell phone lines
Reporting's now a crime
And I'm happy again
So let the whistleblowers blow
'Cause if it's one thing I know
I'll keep spinnin'
Keep spinnin'
In the rain

THE AWAKENING MEDIA:
Mr. President! Mr. President! What did you know, and when did you know it?!

[Presidential tap dance of avoidance, with petulant, puddle-stomping outrage at the very question]

BARACK:
And I'm happy again!
'Cause I'm spinnin'
I'm spinnin'
In the rain...

Yes, I'm spinnin'
I'm spinnin'
In the rain...

Sunday, May 19, 2013

President Obama's Scandal Bracket!

As always, click to embiggen.


(H/T: Gleefully reposted from Jon Gabriel at Ricochet)

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Exclusive Video: Attorney General Eric Holder Testifies Before Congress About the AP Phone Records Scandal

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Overheard at the Family Reunion

“Well, that was just a big barrelful of awkward...”

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Exclusive Video: White House Press Secretary Jay Carney Answers Questions on Benghazi, the IRS, and the AP Scandals

A Tale of Two Weekends

This weekend, I saw one of my nieces marry a truly fantastic guy. President Obama dealt with the fallout over the IRS deliberately targeting his political opponents.

This weekend, I had two fantastic plane rides and absolutely no TSA troubles. President Obama dealt with all the lies about Benghazi and a dead U.S. ambassador no longer holding water.

This weekend, I finally got to spend time with my other niece's new husband, who is every bit the great guy I'd hoped that he would be. President Obama dealt with outrage over his Justice Department spying on the Associated Press.

This weekend, I saw relatives as well as current and former in-laws for the first time years. President Obama  dealt with his Secretary of Health and Human Services shaking down the very people she regulates for donations to a private group created to help promote ObamaCare.

My weekend is over, but President Obama's is just beginning...

Friday, May 10, 2013

Pop Quiz: Fifty Shades of NSFW

Who does the best dramatic reading from Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James?

A) George Takei:

 

B) Gilbert Gottfried:

 

C) Everyone else:

 

Hint: As Sir Salman Rushdie said, "I've never read anything so badly written that got published. It made Twilight look like War and Peace."

Thursday, May 9, 2013

I Would Like My Bailout in Bacon

Satire, politics, geekery, and dogs...


“Welcome to the blogroll.”—David Burge, Iowahawk

“Wesley pokes the Left in the eye with a little boy smile. It’s wonderful to watch them laughing, and then realize that they’re laughing at themselves, and then look around the room to see if anyone caught them laughing.” — Michael Prescott, Simply America

“...a fine, thoughtful, creative writer...conservative, interesting, multifaceted, and upbeat. You can’t do better...”—Zack Rawsthorne, DiversityLane

“Wesley, the guy with the copious free time, has proved to be a very entertaining writer.”—Mike Alexander, Sonicfrog

Trade paperback and Kindle e-book available at Amazon. Nook and other e-book formats available at Smashwords.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

How Do You Solve a Problem Like the Benghazi Whistleblowers?


1)     “The non-extremist Republicans all agree with the Democrats, there’s nothing here.”

2)     “People tweeting most about #Benghazi are white, married men who like Chik-fil-A.”

3)     “Squirrel!”

4)     “You may have been our Number Two guy in the Libyan embassy, but can you really be sure that was actually Hillary Clinton you briefed about a terrorist attack instead of a YouTube video that night?”

5)     “But if it wasn’t about the video, then why is that filmmaker still in jail?”

6)     “We can talk about four dead Americans in Benghazi or about four-thousand dead Americans in Iraq.”

7)     “Yes, the State Department had all the references to Al-Qaeda taken out of the talking points. That’s called diplomacy.”

8)     “Death is a part of life.”

9)     “Remember when Karl Rove and George W. Bush...”

10)   “The bottom line is that Hillary would never, ever lie to the American people. She’s a Clinton!”

UPDATE:

11)   “Maybe it was a virtual protest...”

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Spock vs. Spock (or, The Greatest Car Commercial Ever)

How can an Audi commercial also be 2:44 of absolute nerd-gasm? Just watch...


If Leonard Nimoy will sing "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins" during my test drive, I promise to buy a fleet of them.

Monday, May 6, 2013

Epic Author Popularity Algorithm Fail

The problem with learning curves is that by the time you finish something, you finally grok what you're really doing, so you want to go back and do it all over again from the start. That's why I did the layout for the paperback version of Let No False Angels again. Because I finally grokked the tricks to get the software to do what I really wanted, and loose lines really bug me.

That also meant the paperback was unavailable for a few weeks while I revamped the layout, and during that time, something truly strange happened...


A used copy of my novel for $331.35? Even if my mother were an author popularity algorithm, she wouldn't pay that. She loves the idea of having photographic proof, however.

Now that the paperback is available again, the used prices have come back down to earth. Non-Kindle ebook formats are also now available at Smashwords.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Kid Snippets: "Math Class"

Saturday, May 4, 2013

A Married Conversation (without Spoilers) After Watching Tom Cruise in Oblivion

“So what was your biggest problem with Oblivion?”

“Seeing Jamie Lannister walking around with a big gun instead of a sword.”

“Seriously? That’s what bothered you most?”

“Absolutely. Because from that moment on, I just kept picturing Jon Snow instead of Tom Cruise, Sansa Stark instead of Tom Cruise’s partner in the tower, and Peter Dinklage instead of Morgan Freeman. It was Game of Oblivion inside my mind.”

“Sounds like you saw the better movie.”

“Peter’s already got Oscar buzz, or so the voices tell me.”

Friday, May 3, 2013

Meanwhile, Back in the Days of Clean-Cut Grooviness


(H/T: James Lileks)

Thursday, May 2, 2013

The Soft Magenta Line



“Excellent question. I will acknowledge that I did, in fact, lay down a red line on the use of chemical weapons in Syria, and I will agree that I did, in fact, call the use of such weapons a ‘game changer,’ with the strong implication of military action to follow. However, as every man who has have ever gone shopping with a wife or a girlfriend knows, colors can be tricky things. You say green; she says teal. So after much consultation and review of the available evidence, we have determined that what I referred to as a red line is actually more a soft magenta.”

“So your other red line on the Iranian nuclear program—”

“Angry tangerine. Next question?”

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Wil Wheaton: "Why it's awesome to be a nerd..."

This.

Yet Another Presidential Press Conference


“Thank you all for coming. As you know, presidential press conferences are important to educate and inform the American people about the many vital, important, and pressing issues facing this great country as well as my own thoughts and positions on those matters. I assume you all received the memo from Press Secretary Carney as you came in, but just to review, I will be making no substantive or even informative comments today regarding the Boston bombing, the continuing questions surrounding the Benghazi attack, the Iranian nuclear program, North Korea, the use of chemical weapons in Syria, problems with the implementation of the Affordable Care Act, how the alleged mass murder Kermit Gosnell reflects on the regulatory oversight or lack thereof regarding abortion clinics, or really anything to do with the continually sluggish economy. I am, however, prepared to speak at length about irresponsible Republicans in Congress, the wonderful time we all had at the White House Correspondents Dinner, and openly gay NBA players...”